Earthquakes & HeartachesPosted: April 19, 2008
First of all, didn’t feel that earthquake yesterday. Slept right through it. Appropriately, it’s a good sign of how things are spiritually for me these days. God’s knocking & rocking, but I’m in a deep slumber so I miss Him altogether. It may have been a rare occurrence here in the flatlands of Illinois, but it couldn’t have come at a better time, actually. It was a wake-up call of sorts. Call it what you will, but I think God’s wanting our attention (or at least mine).
Mark 13:8, “For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be earthquakes in various places; there will be famines. These are but the beginning of the birth pains.”
I don’t know about you, but do you ever have those moments when your heart aches, because you know you’re not completely satisfied with the way you’re living? Last night was the spring lock-in at our church, a night where we pray through the night for ourselves, our world, and one another. As I was fighting a rough week, feeling physically drained & spiritually depleted, it was hard to get praying. I couldn’t help but to feel an incredible pain in my heart knowing that my desire at that moment wasn’t for what I knew it should’ve been for. I wanted more than anything to crawl into a soft bed. I wanted desperately not to face the rigor of fighting a cold heart that was not “in the mood” to pray. It would’ve been easier if I just didn’t have to fight.
But I knew this ache in my heart was a good sign that things weren’t right. Battling to get praying, I read portions of Mark. All the passages I’ve preached on these past couple years were haunting reminders to what my problem was. I didn’t treasure Christ. The rich young ruler, Judas Iscariot, the Teachers of the Law; what do they all have in common? Their greatest treasure was not Christ, but in secondary things. The widow & her two pennies, Mary & her alabaster jar, the boy & his fish, the disciples & their nets, the bleeding woman & her urgency; what do they all have in common? Their greatest treasure was Christ. So what was my problem? I had slowly let the secondary things take precedence. I had let them rival my desire to love Jesus ultimately. But good thing for a rival nature that fights my sin! It was a welcome rumble in my heart. Needless to say, it was a labor of love last night. My body and mind were at war with my heart. But I’d like to say my heart got the best of both of them!
Oh, wretched dual nature! I want to be rid of thee! Jesus, come! (and do it quickly)