Christmas, I Hate YouPosted: November 12, 2008
First of all, I’d like to admit that you’ve been a great holiday that gives us time to reflect on the real reason why we’re all here to begin with. We remember Jesus Christ on this day. With that said, there’s been a bone I’ve been wanting to pick with you for a long while now. Here goes…
I hate you. Why must you be so selfish? Now, I can understand that you are the “mother of all commercial holidays” and the “savior of consumerism”, but must you begin your shenanigans so early? Yes, I said shenanigans. I mean, c’mon. You start parading your pretty little red head all over town even before people can get their face paint scraped off from late night trick-or-treating. And before you know it, you’ve stirred up the whole city into a shopping frenzy, dazzled by the lights and giddy to take a picture with Old Uncle Santa Claus. And let’s not even mention the most grievous of your sins. Ok, let’s get into it. I think you owe Thanksgiving an apology. All he’s done is fuel the excitement for your big day, but how do you show your appreciation? You start prancing around the house in your red pajamas and carols earlier and earlier every year! Thanksgiving has done nothing but show you grace. He’s pretty much bowed out of contention, relegated to a mere familial formality in lieu of Christmas. Thanksgiving has been nothing but grateful to be so close to you these past years, but I think it’s time Thanksgiving stood up for himself. He deserves better. Can you think for a second about how it must feel to be in his shoes? Christmas, it’s not all about you. Sooner or later, you’re gonna find that your prancing and singing is going to fall on blind eyes and deaf ears. We’re all going to collectively turn our backs on you, Christmas. You just watch. Keep it up and you’ll see. This is just a warning Christmas. Take it for what it’s worth.