Men are from Mars, Women are complicated.Posted: December 16, 2008
This was posted on a blog I read…
CHECKLISTS FOR SUCCESSFULLY EXITING ONE’S VEHICLE. INDIVIDUALIZED FOR THE RESPECTIVE GENDERS
For A Male
1. Put the thing in park (or in neutral, ’cause it’s probably a manual)
2. Pull the parking break
3. Turn off the car and get out
4. Lock it up (or just give your pitbull “12 Gauge” the “Defend” command)
For A Female
1. Put the car in Reverse and back off the curb
2. Straighten and restraighten parking job, again
3. Put the car in Park
4. Close all the windows
5. Don’t forget the sunroof
6. Turn the music down now so it doesn’t explode your eardrums when you start it up again
7. Push, turn and then pull the keys out of the ignition
8. Untangle your personalized theme park keychains
9. Or save that for later
10. Explore the source of the blinking light. Oh, Make sure lights are off
11. Decide whether to put keys in purse or keep them in hand for self-defense
12. Decision: Hide keys in purse, so you can’t find them when it’s raining and you’re trying to get in
13. Panic! Where’s your cell phone?
14. Relax. It’s in your purse
15. Check your teeth, hair, face in general
16. Practice smile
17. Hide trash under seat so people who look in don’t think you’re messy
18. Push the button up to unlock door
19. Grab purse(s) and open door
20. Ding Ding Ding Ding–You didn’t turn your lights off. Do it now.
21. Walk around to the front to make sure they’re off
22. Push door closed
23. Experiment again on which way actually locks the door. Turn key to the left.
24. That didn’t work
25.Turn key to the right and lock door
27. Go get ‘em.
and the ensuing comment made me laugh.
For a Male… one at a time:
1. “I looked like James Bond when I parked my car!”
2. (drumming hands on stearing wheel) “I love this song.”
3. “I’m hungry.”
For a Female… all at the same time, or overlapping or recurring or looping:
I wonder if that comment I made offended Betty? (Replay in nano-seconds her reaction) My tone of voice wasn’t very joyful. I need to listen to that Piper message Bill gave us. Did I pack that lunch last night? And get it out to the car? Here it is! Oh! I need to call Josie, Michelle, and Ben about that dinner on Friday. Should it be formal or casual? Should I invite Greg too? (Where did that PIMPLE come from?? I haven’t been drinking enough water!) Greg might feel left out. But that would implicate John… nope better keep it simple. Where’s my phone? Oh! I left those earings at Laura’s house! Which reminds me, I need to call her tomorrow to encourage her about that job interview! (Brief prayer for Laura, with a few tears). I’m so thankful for friends! I hope I can have a good attitude at work today! I need so much grace! Oh, I can’t even remember to turn my car lights off! God you’re so kind to remind me with that little blinky light! Thanks for keeping me safe even though I don’t have a husband! (Quick prayer for future husband… which leads to preaching the gospel to yourself). And I hope that new recipe will work tonight… I always forget which way to turn these keys! It was different in my old car, Bert… I’m sure of it. Look how beautiful those clouds are! Deep breath… HI Courtney!!!